by Bret Carter

(August 2023)

The little girl sits on the couch, watching a movie. And she cries. She knows the story is just
pretend and that the characters aren’t real. But still, the tears come.  
It’s called compassion. The word is a combination of “suffer” and “with.” When we have
compassion, we do more than notice someone else’s suffering. We suffer with them. Even if it’s
just a movie. As it turns out, we’re designed to do this. 
Your brain is made of neurons—incredibly complex cells that transmit your thoughts,
emotions, and decisions. You have about 100 billion of them. Recently, neuroscientists have
identified a specific kind of brain cell called a “mirror neuron.” These neurons in particular give
us the ability to care about what happens to other people, to feel compassion, to have empathy.
All of us are born with these mirror neurons and all of us even have the ability to increase their
efficiency. This means we can literally shape our brains to be more empathetic, to connect with
other people. 
It’s also possible to reduce the effectiveness of mirror neurons. We can actually deaden that
part of us, becoming unempathetic and disconnected, with a preference for isolation. 
This might explain why social media tends to become vicious. Studies show there’s a
significant deterioration of empathy among people who are constantly online. Since you’re
interacting through a screen, maybe you subconsciously think you’re not dealing with an actual
human being. So, you treat people as less than human. You expect them to have the emotional
durability of a machine. 
When God made human beings in His image, one of the godly components He gave us was
compassion. Although we might witness forms of compassion in the animal kingdom, there is
something distinct about the empathy of humans. As such, it is a unique and valuable gift from
our Creator. It’s something to be treasured and protected. Because if you don’t, it can wither and
die. If you don’t use your mirror neurons, the world will gradually drain the empathy out of you.
Whether it’s through online saturation or some other means, you will become less
compassionate. Less human. 
This is a big deal because God has clear expectations about this. He commands compassion.
“Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep” (Romans 12:15). “And if one
member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members
rejoice with it” (I Corinthians 12:26). If you neglect this level of connection, your mirror neurons
will grow stagnant. You might put on a church-face, but you will nurture an unbreachable

distance inside you. Your relationships will be a performance. No one will get the real you,
including God.
Christianity can’t be sustained without empathy. You can’t belong to God and maintain a
cold distance from people. One of the primary characteristics of a follower of Christ is that he
focuses on other people. “Let no one seek his own good, but that of his neighbor” (I Corinthians
10:24). “Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one
another as more important than yourselves; do not merely look out for your own personal
interests, but also for the interests of others” (Philippians 2:3-4).
This isn’t easy because all of us are incredibly selfish. Any lack of empathy on your part
isn’t necessarily driven by animosity. It’s just hard to stop thinking about yourself. And it’s not
that we don’t like people. We just don’t notice them. Not really.
When Hagar was suffering, God made it a point to reach out. He had compassion for her.
After their conversation, Hagar had hope and it was because of something crucial she learned
about our Creator. She said, “You are a God who sees” (Genesis 16:13). Those who claim to
belong to God will also develop the same level of compassion. We will not just put up with
people, we will see them.
If you want to say, “Hello” to someone who speaks Zulu, you say, “Sawubona.” It literally
means, “I see you.” And that’s the trick, isn’t it? You can’t empathize with people if you don’t
even see them. When we slalom our way through life, people are nothing more than obstacles we
dodge along the way. If you belong to God—the God who sees—then you have to make sure you
also see.
Your ability to have compassion says a lot about you. If you only have empathy for those
who are close to you—for people you like—that’s amateur level. Even the world does that (Luke
6:32). If you’re really following Jesus, you’re going to work on being more empathetic to
everyone. You’re going to make the most of your mirror neurons.
When it comes to dealing with people, we’ve all been given the same advice: “Put yourself
in their shoes.” That’s fine, but you have to do more than use your imagination. If that’s all you
do, your perception of someone will be made of assumptions. Reaching conclusions about
people before you really know them never turns out well.
Talk to them. Mostly, listen to them. This interaction won’t necessarily change them, but it
will change you. It will remove shallow conclusions you’ve made and give you a more accurate
perception of the human being in front of you. You will discover they are more than the person
you thought they were.
This leads to a huge truth. People aren’t who you think they are. How could you possibly
know anyone without spending time with them in substantial conversation? The only way to
understand someone, to strengthen your empathy for them, is to talk and listen. Then you make
the effort to rewrite your perception of them with love and kindness.
If you’re like most people, there are people in your life you find to be annoying.
Perfect. Here’s your opportunity.  
They are the opportunity to develop the gift God gave you to empathize. Use your mirror
neurons and develop your compassion. Change the way you see people. And when it’s
necessary, suffer with them.
Sometimes, when you’re online and you’re trying to sign in or confirm something, you’ll be
confronted with a simple test. Sometimes it says, I AM NOT A ROBOT and next to that is a
little box to check. Or it might say, VERIFY YOU ARE HUMAN. Sometimes the test requires

more than checking a box. You have to enter a series of letters and numbers. Or you have to
identify images.  
But there’s a better test that gets to the truth of you. If you want to prove you’re human,
show compassion.

bret@rockymountainchristian.com