I grew up in a culture where you could criticize and joke about almost anything. There was one area, however, that was taboo. You didn’t talk about my mother. I didn’t talk about your mother. Motherhood was a sacred institution that was held in high regard. I never thought I’d see the day when our society would criticize moms. Well, here we are. Moms have been moved into the middle of the firing zone. All bets are off, and the attacks are continual and vicious. Scarlen Valderaz recently wrote:

No one is ever prepared for the wild ride of parenting. Most have become disconnected from what the traditional nuclear family once was—namely, Mom was the homemaker, Dad was the provider, and the kids were, to some extent, involved with caring for their siblings. Today, we have so many family dynamics that it seems parenting has become a detriment, not a positive. 1

“Mom-shaming” is really found in two different forms. First, it is a position taken frequently by the far left in which there is ridicule and mockery for those women who have chosen to be stay-at-home moms. Insults like, “If she had any skills she would be in the workplace,” or “This is what lazy women do. They get others to take care of them.” Motherhood is portrayed as the least desirable option for any woman. Real women, we’re told, look for opportunities in the business world. Real women become business owners, presidents and CEO’s of major companies. Thus, the women who have decided to be stay-at-home moms and homemakers are “shamed.”

A second area of “mom-shaming” is where moms are attacked for the way they parent. So-called “experts” have made themselves judge and jury on how a mother handles her own children.

Mom-shaming happens when people criticize a mother for making parenting choices that differ from the choices they have made or would make themselves. (For example: “If you don’t breastfeed your child, you’re doing it wrong.”)

Because it breeds insecurity and anxiety, mom-shaming is not only ineffective, it’s also damaging. 2

So here we are, and moms are being hit with a double punch. First, they get hit with the decision to even be a mom, then they get hit with how they operate as a mom! This has made motherhood a very undesirable vocation.

Biblical Solution

The Bible offers high praise for mothers. They are the most honored of women. It is amazing how women in ancient cultures longed to be mothers. They mourned when they were unable to conceive (cf. I Samuel 1:6, 10-11), and rejoiced greatly when they had children (cf. Genesis 4:1).

Consider these biblical teachings regarding mothers:

First, it is God’s plan for women to be mothers. Obviously, He made them where only they can give birth to children. Their beautifully designed bodies are such that they can have a child form in their womb and then nurse the child when he or she is born. While some might consider this to be a burden that women have to bear, such is far from the truth. Motherhood is a gift from God. It is a gift that He intended for them to cherish and appreciate.

Second, motherhood is the highest calling for women. Those who are “mom-shamers” are directly contradicting the plan of God. Paul would tell women that they need to “bear children” (I Timothy 2:15; 5:14). Their focus should be on their husbands and children (Titus 2:3-5).

Third, the Bible recognizes the difficult task of being a mother. Whereas some today criticize a woman for choosing family over career, the Bible exalts such a choice. The amount of skill it takes to navigate through raising children far surpasses any woman in the professional workplace. The “excellent wife” of Proverbs 31 is a prime example of this. There, the mom handles the challenging tasks of supporting her husband and caring for her children. Her efforts have not gone unnoticed: “Her children rise up and bless her; her husband also, and he praises her, saying: ‘Many daughters have done nobly, but you excel them all’” (Proverbs 31:28-29).

Maureen Bonatch identified the challenges of motherhood:

It isn’t easy being a mom, and despite what other people might want you to think, most moms have days that they struggle with, too. Moms are lifelong learners. Once you have it all figured out, your child enters a new stage of life with new things for you both to learn. If you’re looking out for your children’s and your family’s best interest, you’re doing your job right. 3

Charlotte Anderson also recognized the challenges of being a mother:

From the moment you become a mom you are inundated with decisions, from choosing a brand of baby food (or deciding to make your own) to whether or not you are going to let your 14-year-old go to a concert with his buddies without parental supervision. Parental decisions can be confusing, overwhelming, scary, and downright daunting at times—it’s no wonder you often feel overwhelmed by fear, anxiety, your own past experiences, not to mention other people’s input,”

Burton says. “Add to this that many moms feel that they are just ‘supposed to’ know what to do and that their instincts will guide them, which can make you feel inadequate when you really don’t know what to do.” 4

Fourth, mothers should use the Bible as the best child-raising manual. It provides the principles for raising godly children (Proverbs 22:6). It notes what must be done so that a mother will have pride in her children (Isaiah 66:13; Psalm 131:2). It gives the mother the responsibility of providing teaching and guidance to her children (Proverbs 6:20). If a mother is raising up her children to know God and Jesus (John 17:3), and to know the truth (John 8:32), then she ought not to listen to any critic who would suggest otherwise. If she is bringing her children to the church Jesus built and died for, then she is doing what God wants despite societies attempts to criticize it.

Conclusion: If we are following the biblical solution then we are educating mothers according to biblical teachings and encouraging them along the way. We are helping them enjoy the blessings of motherhood.

FOOTNOTES

1 Scarlen Valderaz, “‘Mom-Shaming’ Has Got to Go.” Patriot Post (June 27, 2024). https://patriotpost.us/articles / 107987-mom-shaming-has-got-to-go-2024-06-27.

2 “Mom Shaming: Why it hurts more than it helps.” Health News and Blog (January 5, 2021; updated Nov. 17, 2023). https://intermountainhealthcare.org/blogs/mom-shaming-why-it-hurts-more-than-it-helps

3 Maureen Bonatch, “Mom-Shaming: What is it and How to Cope.” Health News (January 17, 2024). https://healthnews.com/mental-health/self-care-and-therapy/mom-shaming-what-is-it-and-how-to-cope/

4 Charlotte Hilton Anderson, “5 Types of Mom-Shaming – and How to Shut Them Down.” https://www.rd.com/list/mom-shaming/

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