“But everyone must be quick to hear, slow to speak and slow to anger; for the anger of man does not achieve the righteousness of God” (James 1:20).
Anger is as old as Cain and Abel. Cain was angry and killed his brother when in reality it was Cain’s lack of godliness that caused God to reject his offering. Ever since early in Genesis, anger has been one of the main banes of human existence. Anger fuels everything from family arguments to international wars.
Virtually everyone knows that anger is a negative, often destructive emotion, yet few ever obtain any degree of control over it. In fact, anger becomes the master of those who don’t struggle to overcome it.
Back to Genesis 4: When God rejected Cain’s offering “from the fruit of the ground (it was supposed to be an animal sacrifice)…Cain became very angry and his countenance fell.” God shows up to show the way “Then the Lord said to Cain, ‘Why are you angry? And why has your countenance fallen? If you do well, will not your countenance be lifted up? And if you do not do well, sin is crouching at the door; and its desire is for you, but you must master it” (Genesis 4:6-7).
Right then and there, early in the first book of God’s Word, He gives us one of life’s most important lessons in two parts.
1. If you do well (self-discipline) your countenance (literally “face” in Hebrew) will be lifted up. (Think: self-image, happiness, satisfaction, joy, etc.)
2. If you do not do well sin is crouching at the door and its desire is for you, but you must master it. (Lack of self-discipline increases the closeness of sin, and a critical battle between right and wrong ensues.)
So why is the sin of anger so ferociously hard to master? Specifically, because Satan can and does disguise anger so deceptively that it literally feels like power! Let’s be frank, we like power. We should like power. Properly used, power is self-discipline in action!
Properly wielded, power builds character, strengthens resolve, and even protects the innocent. (Remember that the sheriff’s powerful Colt .45 of yesteryear was called the “Peacemaker.”)
Remember James 3:18? “The seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” Did you catch it? God expects His children to be able to make something—peace! We literally make it. We create something that was not there before.
But that is the proper use of the power God gave us. Anger is usually an improper emotional response and is so very tempting because Satan deceives us into believing that anger gives us power! Who gets to yell at work? The boss, the one with the power. Employees who yell to get their way are called “unemployed.”
It can and does start very early. Consider the following (I’m calling it the Law of the Twos).
When a two-month-old wants food, he cries. If he doesn’t get what he wants, he cries louder and longer. BOOM! He gets what he wants. The little baby brain figures it out fast, “When I scream, I get what I want.”
When a two-year-old is snatching cookies and Mom says, “Stop,” he or she might ignore Mom, at least until Mom sharply shouts, “Stop that right now!” The lesson is reinforced, “When someone shouts, they get what they want, like Mom just did!”
Move on to second grade (first graders are still scared and comply easily). Little Johnny comes in from recess, the bell rings and the teacher says, “Let’s all be quiet and open our books.” But Johnny is telling a great playground story and keeps talking. Finally, after two or three warnings, the frustrated teacher yells, “Sit down and shut up!” All comply instantly. The lesson is reinforced, “When frustration sets in, yelling gets you what you want!”
Move on to the second year of high school. Football practice is starting, and big Johnny is telling his BFF about a great date last Friday night. The coach says, “Let’s line up for calisthenics, but Johnny keeps talking. The coach glares at Big Johnny and shouts in his booming coach voice, “Line up and shut up!” Everyone magically freezes. And the lesson is once again reinforced, “Glaring and shouting helps you get your way!”
One more: Now young man Johnny is 22. He goes to the movie to see Arnold Schwarzenegger in Commando.Arnold’s daughter is kidnapped and taken to an island. He finds her and rescues her. Fueled by anger (perhaps proper anger), he catches his nemesis and skewers him with a large pipe (I know… this is supposed to be a family show). Fantasy action movie or not, the lesson is now burned into Johnny’s brain, “Anger and even violence are powerful tools that help you get your way in life.”
And now we are back to where we started, Cain and Abel, anger and death! We know how people get there. Counselors have known that for years. God’s people have known it for millennia, “If you do well (by God’s definition) your countenance will be lifted up.” When our countenance is lifted up, it becomes far easier to follow God and, with love and care, bring others along with us.
No wonder God tells us to be “…teaching the truth in love.” (Ephesians 4:15). No wonder God tells us, “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger” (Proverbs 15:1). And no wonder God tells us, “The seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.” (James 3:18.)
Remember, God has empowered you to literally make (create) peace! But that can only happen if and when you power past the devil’s deceptions! Anger and frustration do not get you what you want—never has and never will. In fact it will bring a curse into your life—ask Cain!
If you grew up in a home where anger was used as a power play, it will be vehemently hard. But you can do it. God can give you the power, strength, and resolve that leads to the practical application of love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23). In verse 19, Paul reminds us that outbursts of anger are exactly the opposite of love, joy, peace, and patience!
Struggling with anger? Keep telling yourself, “Anger creates weakness, anger creates weakness, anger creates weakness.” Anger might get you temporary compliance from another, but it never creates a relationship and never, ever lifts your countenance nor anyone else’s. In anger, there is weakness and sorrow. In self-discipline, there is peace and great joy.
Remember I Corinthians 13, Love is patient, kind, etc….” Live so as to lift your countenance. “Now may the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that you will abound in hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13).
