Modern Problems / Ancient Solutions

In the 1980s, a new term was coined: “toxic masculinity.” It really didn’t take off, however, until about 30 years later. Now we hear it almost daily. The phrase, as defined by those who initially coined it, is well expressed in an article by Amy Morin. She wrote, 

Toxic masculinity isn’t just about behaving like a man. Instead, it involves the extreme pressure some men may feel to act in a way that is actually harmful. There are many definitions of “toxic masculinity” that appear in research as well as pop culture. Some

researchers have come to agree that toxic masculinity has three core components:

1. Toughness: This is the notion that men should be physically strong, emotionally

    callous, and behaviorally aggressive.

2. Antifeminity: This involves the idea that men should reject anything that is

    considered to be feminine, such as showing emotion or accepting help.

3. Power: This is the assumption that men must work toward obtaining power and status

    (social and financial) so they can gain the respect of others. ¹

An article produced by Medical News Today noted that “toxic masculinity” produces these traits:

•  aggression

•  sexual aggression or control

•  showing no emotion or suppressing emotions

•  hyper-competitiveness

•  needing to dominate or control others

•  a tendency towards or glorification of violence

•  isolation

•  low empathy

•  entitlement

•  chauvinism and sexism ²

I have never encountered a person who would support or encourage any of these traits. However, the usage of the term “toxic masculinity” has now lumped all men into a single descriptive term. In other words, all men are cursed with this malady. 

Richard Reeves made the following observation regarding this: “Toxic masculinity is a counterproductive term. Very few boys and men are likely to react well to the idea that there is something toxic inside them that needs to be exorcised. This is especially true given that most of them identify quite strongly with their masculinity.” ³

There are those of us men who are troubled, even offended, when we are accused of “toxic masculinity.” We are equally troubled with the trend—often depicted in sitcoms and movies—which portrays the father in the home as a bumbling idiot and an incompetent fool. They give the message that if it were not for Mom coming to the rescue, the family would be in shambles.

Biblical Solution

It might surprise some to learn that the Bible clearly calls on men to be men. When Paul wrote his epistle to the Corinthian church, he said: “Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong” (I Corinthians 16:13). Real men do not do any of those negative traits mentioned above. As a matter of fact, the Bible condemns those traits, while encouraging manhood. Therefore the biblical solution is to condemn sinful traits no matter who does them.

So according to the Bible, what is a real man? Perhaps the best answer to this is found in the words of King David. David was about to die, and he was giving instructions to his son Solomon. Note carefully what David (inspired by the Holy Spirit) said to his son:

As David’s time to die drew near, he charged Solomon his son, saying, “I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man. Keep the charge of the Lord your God, to walk in His ways, to keep His statutes, His commandments, His ordinances, and His testimonies, according to what is written in the Law of Moses, that you may succeed in all that you do and wherever you turn, so that the Lord may carry out His promise which He spoke concerning me, saying, ‘If your sons are careful of their way, to walk before Me in truth with all their heart and with all their soul, you shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.’ (1 Kings 2:1-4)

Did you notice the phrases about being a man? David said, “Show yourself a man,” and later said, “You shall not lack a man on the throne of Israel.” However, in between those statements, we find the biblical definition of a man. He is one who is strong, but strong in his faith in God. He walks in God’s laws, being fully obedient to what God has instructed.

Real men also do what David is doing here, teaching his son what a godly man is like. Real men love God and love His Word. Real men demonstrate strength through obedience and submission to their God. When we raise our boys, we teach them to do what David is teaching Solomon to do. 

There is an old American mantra that fathers have told their boys for centuries. It explains that there are three types of men: wolves, sheep, and sheepdogs. Wolves are lonely and strong, and they prey on sheep and weak wolves alike. Sheep are naïve and weak and get eaten by wolves. Sheepdogs are strong and reliable, and they protect the sheep against the wolves. ⁴

God made men strong for a reason. He intends for them to be strong in the Word, strong in supporting and defending the truth, and strong in helping and protecting others. There is nothing toxic in that kind of masculinity.

¹ Amy Morin, “What is Toxic Masculinity?” Verywell Mind.” https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-toxic-

masculinity-5075107

² Jon Johnson, “What to know about toxic masculinity.” https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/toxic-

masculinity

³ Richard Reeves. “Toxic masculinity is a harmful myth. Society is in denial about the problems of boys and men.”

⁴ Samuel Paul Veissiere, “The Real Problem With ‘Toxic Masculinity.’” Psychology Today.